THE MISSION: CLIMBING TO THE TOP
Listen to "Spirit In the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum at www.Rhapsody.com
Climbing to the top of Jiuhua Shan (pronounced Ja-who-a-shan) in China
(Photo by L. Latshaw)
Climbing a holy mountain in China with my hiking partner, I was running out of steam. Mountain cliimbing there meant climbing thousands of steps. For the first three hours we climbed, vendors badgered me to pay them to carry me in a sling. I refused. I came her to climb, not be carried. Besides Jiuhua Shan is so steep that I'll slide off the back of that chair, I thought. But my resolve to climb grew dimmer with each step. Where were the men with the chair now? I'd take my chances about falling out.
While I huffed and puffed, silently praying for the men with the sling to return, a man suddenly approached from behind. He was bent over, his head almost touching the ground from the weight of the wooden beams on his back. The beams looked like they weighed as much as he did. When he passed and then overtook us, awe replaced my fatigue.
Later when the three of us sat down to rest, the man explained in broken English that the wood he carried was special, sacred. It was to help repair the temple at the mountaintop. Carrying the beams was a privilege to him, not a burden. When we started climbing again, the man moved with extraordinary strength and speed. He beat us to the top.
When we surrender, we get the Grace and strength to carry any legitimate burdens we have. Carrying them is important for the temple, other people, and us. Often we don't see the benefits until later, after we're done climbing. We can endure almost any pain or problem, or carry any burden--if it's for a good reason. Purpose transforms ordinary tasks into sacred missions. Mistakes become destiny instead of random fate. No matter what burden we're carrying, making it to the top of the mountain is what this site is about.
They call me a self-help writer, but I'm not an expert or a guru. I don't give medical, psychiatric, or legal advice. I research, and then combine personal experience with what the experts say. Then I turn that into easy stories for people to watch or read. Sometimes I show people how others (and I) work through certain issues and I suggest options, but I don't tell people what to do. I tell them they can do it, instead (a practice referred to as empowerment or permissions therapy.) You can read the complete Privacy Policy & Disclaimer by cllicking this link. Topics I write about run the gamut from spiritual growth to true crime. When people aask where i find my stories or get my ideas, I tell them the truth. "They find me," I say. I write nonfiction: journalism, magazine articles, books, and TV movies. When I write newspaper articles about what people can do to improve their lives, it's called service journalism. The same idea holds true about this site. My work is showcased here. I include my biography, articles about my life. But this site isn't about me. It's about serving you.
Don't look down. Look up! The steeper the climb, the more important it is to laugh. People say the bubble is popping, it's bad out there, and it's getting worse. Everyone's getting the rug ripped out from under them, one man said. No matter how bad it gets, we can still find happiness. There's some for each of us. We may need to redefine what happiness is before we can find it but when we do, we discover it's been there all along. Another word for happiness is Peace. It's been looking for us.
"They help hold the world and the heaven together," wrote the poet Li Bai when he first saw the nine mountains and ninety-nine peaks of Jiuhua Shan. This site will help us climb that mountain--no matter what we're carrying--and touch the place where heaven and earth meet.
THE MUSICAL MELODY BEATTIE SITES: WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
Melody on the deck behind her house
(Publicity Photo by Derek Rath)
I think I broke a record. This site was Under Construction for nine years but almost nothing changed. Then we decided to do it ourselves. After a length, tough learning curve--graphics, html, Java--everything is new. We started from scratch, including going back to zero on the counters. This time we'll upgrade content as we go to keep the site fresh. No more "Under Construction" signs. We want you to come back often and enjoy yourself while you're here. Frequently events in the world are metaphors for events in individual's lives. The time for change is here.
THREE NEW SITES
One site, www.MelodyBeattie.com, is now three. The dot com site where you are now is the main one, an umbrella for the other two. Each site has its own bulletin boards, polls, FAQs, chat rooms, articles and purpose. This site is about helping yourself to life. That covers a lot. A virtual reality shopping mall called A Few of My Favorite Things has an entire bookstore wing that showcase books -- and not just my own. You'll find books from all your favorite authors at the best prices I could find. The virtual mall also links directly to many products and services from reputable merchants with quality merchandise at good prices -- computers, clothing, software -- even cars and help with credit for people who've gotten themselves in a pickle. You can also get your books signed without mailing them in or standing in line by filling out a form and sending it to me along with a stamped, self-addressed envelope (no, not one big enough for the entire book). Check out that page and you'll see.
One blog -- Living in the Mystery -- connects to this site. That covers general material. Anything goes if it takes the high road. I'll cover subjects connected to recovery, but I'll also write about current events, controversial subjects--whatever comes up. I'm returning to my journalism roots because that's the kind of writing I love. Some subjects may surprise you. It isn't necessary to be "in recovery" to read my books or use this site. You just need to be "in Life."
Each site's Welcome Page provides a description of its contents. If you don't find what you need--email us. I can't respond individually but I'll give the subject some thought. I want you to participate by sending qumaestions and comments, posting, and joining in the chats.I want you to create the FAQs (frequently asked questions). Trust yourself. If you have a question, others probably do too.
"New Releases" are the focus at www.MelodyBeattie.org. That site is also the holding tank for information about codependency. The New Codependency--released January 2009--is the first new release excerpted and showcased there. Other new releases scheduled o follow include a book about making miracles, a workbook about taking care of ourselves, and the true story (book and TV movie) about a woman who suffered for seven years at the hands of a psychopath and his wife--and lived to tell about it. (The real miracle will be finishing this site so I can move on to write the other stories.)
MelodyBeattie.net is a safety net to catch grieving people who feel like there's no bottom to their pain. The site is technically for my "Featured Releases" but that is and will remain The Grief Club: The Secret to Getting Through All Kinds of Change. Thanks to Hazelden's generosity, that entire book will be posted--a chapter at a time--for you to read for free. Due to copyright restrictions, no downloading or archiving is allowed, but it's still an extremely thoughtful gesture given these belt-tightening times.
The grief site is the only one requiring registration to enter. Once inside, use any name you want. The purpose of registering is to ensure that the site is a safe, nonjudgmental, nurturing place for people raw with grief. Please take harassment and profanity somewhere else. Grieving people don't need it. It's a privilege to be able to offer you this site. Come as you are. Tell your story as many times as you need so Life can heal your heart.
MUSIC
Feel free to click on the links to listen to any song you life because thanks to Rhapsody.com, the music here is free. Each site guest can listen to 25 free songs each month--no strings or credit cards attached. Your music month begins the first time you listen to a song, not the first of the month. You don't have to listen to the songs I like. Visit www.Rhapsody.com and choose a song you like from their millions of songs and long list of genres.
After you've listened to 25 free songs, the music automatically stops playing 30 seconds into a track. You can wait until your next music month begins, try a free trial, or you can purchase a monthly Rhapsody plan. I signed on for Rhapsody to Go. For $14.99 a month (the price of one CD), I have access to millions of songs and I haven't yet been unable to find what i wanted.
Choose the song you want to hear.
ADVERTISING AFFILIATES
Before, I linked to one advertising affiliate--Amazon.com. Now I link to fifty. You'll find some links in text, some in ads like the one above, but for the most part you'll have control over the advertising experience. You can go shopping in the Virtual Mall in this site if you're looking for something and see if you can find what you want. No pop-ups or advertising emails. I promise to let the Golden Rule be my guide.
Just because I call them "my" affiliates doesn't mean they're "mine." We're all independent business entities.
It's also my privilege to be able to offer you a link to free chemical dependency treatment if you or someone you love is in trouble with alcohol or drugs.
I've never been good at sales, but I can speak and write from my heart. Some free things are priceless, but what we pay for can be invaluable too. Many of these affiliates have significantly improved my life.
For example, I used to worry about identity theft. It started when I watched a true story TV movie about a woman whose life was trashed by another woman (a stranger) who stole her identity. While the thief was busy spending the victim's savings and ruining her credit, the victim lost access to her own credit and bank accounts. She was mistakenly jailed. Her peace of mind was stolen. She almsot lost her house.
Have you seen the commercial where a man drives around with his Social Security number written on a bus? I thought this was an advertising gimmick until I learned that guarding our Social Security number is the most important step we can take to protect ourselves from identity theft. (That comes from the Federal Trade Commission.) The next most important step is shredding all personal documents instead of tossing them in the trash.
The owner of LifeLock is so confident about their ability to protect people from identity theft that he does the one thing that makes him most vulnerable to thieves. This man has true peace of mind about identity theft. I wanted what he had. I was willing to pay whatever it cost. When I signed up for LifeLock's identity theft protection plan, I was surprised at the cost--$10.00 a month. Today, that's almost like getting it for free. If you go to LifeLock using the links on this site, you can get the same plan I have for less than that.
The days of privacy are simultaneously gone. We live in fish bowls. I didn't know how bad it was until the day I called my credit card company to tell them about a purchase I intended to make. I pay my credit cards in full each month and the day I can't is the day I cut them up. But for security reasons, sometimes a card denies a purchase if it's large or if I'm using the card at a store for the first time. Because I didn't want the embarrassment of being denied, I called the credit card company to give them a head's up. To verify that he was talking to Melody Beattie, the customer service rep gave me a test using information he took off the internet. "What are the license plates numbers of your last three cars?" he asked. My last three? I don't know the license plate number of the car I'm driving now! This stranger knew more about me than I did.
George Orwell's 1984 happened, but I didn't see it coming. Big Brother isn't watching--anyone who wants to is. Do yourself a favor. Visit www.ftc.gov/, the Federal Trade Commission's web site. You'll find true stories, a test, ways to protect yourself, and what to do if identity theft happens. Then visit LifeLock's web site.
A little money buys a big peace of mind.
Although I won't annoy you with pop-ups, I can't help telling stories. One more, and then I'll stop. This is about an accident, one I saw coming. I know I'm clumsy. It's not self-fulfilling prophecy. I can do more damage to myself alone in my home than many people can on the 5 in Los Angeles at peak traffic time. There are times we listen to our intuition. We'll never know what might have happened if we hadn't. Other times we don't and nobody needs to say I told you so. We say it to ourselves.
It happened when I was working on this page. I was in a hurry and hungry. Creating this sites took so much longer than I thought. I often worked late into the night or around the clock. Sometimes I'd forget to eat. Suddenly I realized I hadn't eaten for 12 hours. I was starving. I made myself a bowl of oatmeal, and then brought the cereal back to my desk. I was about to reach over my desk and over an open, very new Hewlitt Packard Pavilion dv7 Notebook Entertainment computer to put down my bowl of cereal on the other side. I couldn't walk around it--too many papers on the floor. I'd fall for sure. Don't do that, that quiet inner voice warned as I started to reach across the computer with my cereal. I did it anyway then watched a full bowl of oatmeal and milk dump into my open computer. The computer started bleeping like R2D2 from Star Wars. I turned if off and upside down so the milk would drop onto the floor instead of further into the computer, then ran to get a towel and a can of air. I dried it the best I could, and let it sit upside down while I went to the kitchen to get more cereal.
When I finished eating, I turned on the computer, not expecting anything to happen. It beeped once, started working, and has ever since. "What is codependency?" is the question people ask me most frequently. "What kind of computer do you use?" is the question I'm asked next frequently. For years I bounced around from one computer brand to another. One year's best would be the next year's worst. I go through computers like toothpicks. I finally found a home with Hewlitt Packard. I've used HP's printers and All-In-Ones for a long time. Now I'm in love with their computers. I need a workhouse, a big screen. Most of all, I want my computer to start whenI turn it on--especiallly if I'm in the middle of writing a web site, book, or screenplay.
Even if my HP hadn't worked, I had the good sense to buy the accident protection plan. It can be 100% my fault that my computer doesn't work and it will be repaired or replaced--no questions asked. (Well, they may have a few out of general curiosity about some of the things that happen to me.) Here's an important Disclaimer: Hewlitt Packard in no way implies or warrants that their computers will work after you pour cereal and milk in them. You should not try this experiment at home or anywhere else.
I thought I was getting the best deal possible on my ink cartridges, toner, and paper from the discount online office products store where I shopped--especially because my purchases were shipped free to me the next day.
When I became an HP affiliate, I learned I can get ink, toner, and paper for less than I've been paying from HP's online Office and Home Office Store and they also offer free, next-day shipping. But don't take my word. Listen to and trust your intuition.
HOW COULD I FORGET?
Besides all of the above, you'll find a "mini-me" in the pages. Through SitePal, I created an Avatar (a three-dimensional virtual reality image created from my picture that uses my voice) and she (or it) will guide you around and through these pages. If you want her to (I can't believe I'm referring to myself in the third person), she'll talk to you about my books, what's in them, and which ones might be right for you. If the "mini-Melodoy" or clone annoys you or freaks you out, you can push the pause button and make her be quiet. (By the way, SitePal is also an Advertising Affiliate. You can have an Avatar made; it's not expensive. It's created from a head shot of you. Then you can record your voice on your computer, over the phone, or by typing the words and using someone else's voice. The whole process takes about four minues. You can use it on Facepage, emails, or a website. It's like cloning ourselves.
Later on, you will find a Privacy Policy section. At the bottom of the pages, you'll find links to this site's complete Privacy Policy and Disclaimer. Briefly though, I'll inform you that you can say yes or no to typing your name or any personal information in the Guest Book. However, other site guests will be able to see what you entered. The information you enter in the Guest Book will not be sold or given away to any third parties. You will not be spammed, annoyed by pop-ups, have your names and information given away or sold. I respect your privacy just as much as I respect mine. So now will you sign my Guest Book? Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and a Guest Book is just a way of getting to know who visited you and anything that person had to say.
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