Category: Melody Beattie’s Blog


I love watching a good magician.  Willingly I suspend disbelief even knowing that a practical, non-magical explanation exists for every illusion. Magic isn’t real; I’m watching tricks done by using mirrors, trap doors and clever misdirection. When someone gets us to focus on one thing -- something insignificant but shiny -- so we miss the big thing, the real thing taking place, that’s misdirection.  And Merlin’s apprentices aren’t the only ones skilled at it.  Con artists, addicts, Read more [...]


I’m not an art connoisseur. Can’t even draw good stick figures. Cameras make me nervous. Most of my life, I thought art was optional, something for those in the elite class and the highest level obtainable on Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. I’ve tried climbing that pyramid Maslow identified as human motivators. Just when I’m ready to move up to the next level, I tumble back down into survival mode and start trying to get back up. Again. It’s tough to appreciate Monet when you’re Read more [...]


1. Recently I was driving from the desert back to my home. Inside my desert cottage, a patio door separates two rooms. Usually I keep that door shut but I decided to close it. Then I got in the car and realized I’d forgotten something inside the house. I was hurried. I wanted to leave after traffic rush but before the highways closed for nighttime repairs. I ran back into the house – smack into the closed patio doors so clean I couldn’t even see them. I knew I’d hurt myself; it was the Read more [...]


Selena, a friend for many years, called today. She felt uncomfortable, she said. And sad. She told me about a recent and profound over-reaction she experienced in response to a situation with a long-term friend.  Her awareness told her that the depth of her reaction meant that she’s not only dealing with today; her gut-load of emotions are remnants of the past. We call those incidents triggers. While the current event has importance, the meaning extends beyond that.  It’s a situation Life Read more [...]

Deep Cleaning

There are two ways to clean a room or a house: surface and deep. You can straighten up piles of stuff, get rid of obvious dirt, vacuum, dust and do dishes, but when you open your closets or kitchen drawers, they’re stuffed with junk, clutter and crap. Lift up the carpet and you’ll find years of dust and crud. Or if you have time and like a truly clean environment, you can start at the bottom of things, organize all the drawers and closets, throw away or find a home for what’s not utilitarian Read more [...]

Drain Pain

No, I don’t mean a clogged kitchen sink or a shower stall that empties slowly. I’m talking about allowing people, places and things to slowly and insidiously creep in and begin sucking the soul, energy, life force – and resources – out of us.  No matter how many years ago we learned about not being codependent, it can still happen to us. Again. Drain Pain occurs so slowly and subtly, we may not see it happening.  Following you’ll find a list of symptoms and the remedy for each: -          Read more [...]

Distractions Part II

This makes the second time I’ve written about distractions, and how they can play a positive role when we’re grieving or going through any challenging situation. Since I wrote the first blog, I’ve learned more about the subject. Are you a creative-type?  Going through grief or loss? In constant physical pain or dealing with a chronic illness?  Distracting yourself intentionally may be exactly what the doctor ordered. (That’s a figure of speech. Please seek professional help if Read more [...]
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