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August 7:Our Path

The spiritual path and growth promised to us by the Twelve Steps does not depend on any religious belief. They are not contingent upon any denomination or sect. They are not, as the traditions of Twelve Step programs state, affiliated with any religious denomination or organization. We do not have to allow anyone to badger us about religion in recovery. We do not have to allow people to make us feel ashamed, afraid, or less-than because we do not subscribe to their beliefs about religion. We do not Read more [...]

May 31: When it’s Time to Get things Done

Yesterday we talked about using deadlines to help ourselves let go. Self-imposed deadlines can also be a way to focus our energy on a task, especially one we’ve been putting off. “I’m going to get up and have the house cleaned by 1O:00 A.M.” “I’m going to lock myself in the house and have this report written in two days.” “I’m going to get the yard cleaned up by the end of the week.” There are many times in life when it’s appropriate and healthy to listen to our internal clock Read more [...]

May 30: Using Deadlines as a Tool

Sometimes, we find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation. We don’t know what to do next. We don’t know how to solve the problem. We don’t know the course that’s going to unfold. Maybe we’re seeing someone, and the relationship isn’t gaining any momentum, but it’s not time to push the issue. Maybe all we need to do is give the other person a little space and time to work through his or her stuff. Maybe the business that we’re pursuing isn’t gaining any momentum, but things may Read more [...]

May 29: Creative Boundary Setting

Grace was the single parent of a seventeen-year-old son, Shawn. Shawn was charismatic, powerful, strong-willed, intelligent, and chemically dependent. Grace loved Shawn deeply. But she also felt trapped by his rebellious teenage years, coupled with his drug and alcohol usage. Shawn had been through treatment once, did well for a while, then had relapsed. Shawn had a driver’s license and a car. In his sober times, Shawn handled the responsibility of the car well. And the agreement was, if Shawn Read more [...]

May 28: When it Takes a Lot to Say When

At times, we say when with relative ease. We say, “No thanks, this isn’t right for me,” and we walk away. There are other times when it’s harder to set a boundary or enforce a new limit or decision with people. Jan and Patrick had a tough time saying when to their grown daughter, Elizabeth. Elizabeth had moved out of the house. She wanted her independence. But she still wanted her mom and dad’s money. She would make deals with them- help me buy this car, or put this deposit on an apartment, Read more [...]

May 27: When Only You Can Make the Decision

It was about my fiftieth skydive. I was determined to master this spinning thing. When my turn came, I went to the door, pulled myself outside, then gave myself the count. Ready, set, go. I released my hold and let myself fall into the air. At first, I fell stable, belly down. Then that dang spinning thing started. I tried to correct my body posture. That didn’t help. The last time this had happened, I had spent so much time trying to correct the problem, I had lost awareness of my altitude. I Read more [...]

May 26: Recovery Prayer

This prayer is based on a section of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous: Thank you for keeping me straight yesterday. Please help me stay straight today. For the next twenty-four hours, I pray for knowledge of your will for me only, and the power to carry that through. Please free my thinking of self -will, self-seeking, dishonesty, and wrong motives. Send me the right thought, word, or action. Show me what my next step should be. In times of doubt and indecision, please send your inspiration and Read more [...]
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