Making Every Day a Day to Remember

December 23, 2016

Making Every Day to Remember
The year has sped by; time is relative and 2016 has, relatively speaking, passed quickly.

As we approach the end of the year and many of us (depending on our religious beliefs) enter the holiday season, I have a few ideas to share:

  1. I hope that Peace finds its way into your hearts and homes in the days ahead – and now.
  2. May you find ways to express love to the people in your life – those you know and love, and those Life puts in your path.
  3. Please remember to be gentle with and good to yourself.
  4. For those in deep pain or grief, please remember that holidays are one chunk of time that lasts 24 hours. After all we’ve been through, we can do that – get through a 24-hour period — no matter how we feel.

Before my son’s death, I so loved and cherished traditional holidays.  After, holidays became a day when although I’m aware of who’s around, I’m also clearly conscious of who isn’t.

That’s when I decided to let every day be Christmas, if I wanted.

I could give love, a gift or a smile – to anyone I wanted.  Also I decided to let Thanksgiving be a daily event instead of something I celebrated one day every year in November.

It’s taken an enormous amount of stress from the holidays.  I can be grateful.  I can give love and presents whenever I want, not just one day a year.

No matter the events in our lives, one day (whether it’s a holiday or a normal day) will soon be over — a day to remember. Life as we know it will return.

Let each day be a day to remember by living it as best as we can in a spirit of love and respect for, and service to each other.

A warm thank you to all my site guests; writing wouldn’t be any fun (not that it isn’t hard work) if nobody wanted to read what I wrote.

From the Desk of…
Melody Beattie
December 23, 2016

Note: As much as Melody would love to respond to all comments, this sometimes isn't feasible with her busy schedule. Please feel free to leave a comment but do so knowing she will only be able to respond when she has some time away from writing. She does receive your comments and deeply cares about what you have to say so please do leave a comment if you are compelled to do so.

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  • Irene Snider

    Wishing you always the best and thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom.
    From your childhood friend, Irene Klasinski-Snider

    • Hi, Irene! The second I read your name, I remembered your house, your face — the neighborhood. Wow. What a long time ago. Blessings for you and yours this Holiday Season and throughout the coming year. Melody

      • Irene Snider

        I was hoping that you would recognize the name Melody. The last time we spoke at the class reunion, you left me with so many thought provoking words. I guess that I didn’t even realize that anyone even really knew about my life at home, Finally about the age of forty I was able to confront my father. It finally put to rest all my anger that had been built up inside. Thanks for all your wisdom. Praying your surgery is for nothing serious and that it goes well. Have a wonderful New Year and many more. All my love, Irene Klasinski-Snider

  • Hello everyone, my surgery was pushed up until next Thursday, so I’ll be here to check in if people want to stop by the site, say hi or be reminded they’re not in this alone.

  • Maureen

    Melody, on this first day of the year I just wanted to take the time to thank you. Your book the language of letting go was the instrument that changed the way I saw my life. It made my recovery program click and all the dots connect.I am grateful for your codependency and your gift of writing that has helped me heal something I hadn’t understood until I read that book. I give it as a gift to many women in recovery and to many women who aren’t in recovery. Today I don’t feel defective I feel grateful that I am an alcoholic and a codependent in recovery.

    • Thanks — but again I say: you are the one who did the work. I can still remember how ticked I was when I finally surrendered to my codependency and went to a meeting for that. A lady (smiling) says, “Oh you’re an Al-Anon.” I said, “No, I’m an addict/alcoholic.” She smiles and says, “Oh. You’re a double winner!” I was livid — but just for a while. She was telling the truth. I did win: twice. Happy New Year, and best from Melody Beattie

  • Sonia Beinroth

    Hi
    How did/does your codependancy affect your children and your relationship with your children? I was looking for help with this on your site but seem unable to find anything.

    • About the same way it (codependency) affects all our relationships, except with our children we are at risk for passing on (by role-modeling) codependent behaviors. We can get trapped, unable to set clear boundaries with our children, unable to experience healthy love with them — and end up letting our children “run our lives” while we feel immersed in guilt and confusion. The antidote — taking care of and taking responsibility for ourselves — works the same with our children as it does in other relationships. Control doesn’t work; taking responsibility for ourselves does. I’m not certain exactly what you’re looking for, but I hope this helps. Feel free to ask more questions. Melody Beattie