It’s an old saying from Alcoholics Anonymous, and you may have seen it on the bumper sticker of a car: “Easy does

It’s also an ancient Buddhist value. And it’s one of the points found in Winnie-the-Pooh stories. There’s a natural order, rhythm, and movement to the flow of life. We can’t tap into it when we’re trying too hard. The trick is relax­ing and allowing that flow to find and include us.

Application: Whenever we’re trying harder and accom­plishing less, it may be time to ease up.

So, you surrendered. You let go. Now you’re ready to face a particular challenge. So you hunker down and garner all your forces. And you hit the wall again.

“What’s wrong?” you may ask. “I’m doing all the spir­itual things I’m supposed to do. And things still aren’t working. I can’t get anywhere.”

Did you ever try to get a key to unlock a door, and you tried and tried, and the key just wouldn’t open it? The harder you tried, the more frustrated you became. So you stopped trying for a while, relaxed, and tried again. Voila. The key fit perfectly and the slightest turn unlocked the door.

Many of us live our lives that way While some people may not try at all, we may be trying too hard. There’s a gentler way of being in the world, of trying things, doing things, going about our business.

Whether I’m tackling a specific project, enjoying a new relationship, or grinding through some miserable sit­uation, my first inclination is to force myself and try too hard. If one cup of tea tastes good, I’ll drink five. If I want to express love or concern for someone, I’ll overdo it.

“If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well,” doesn’t mean if it’s worth doing, try harder and harder. Doing it well means relaxing and letting the actions unfold—gently, naturally without force. We don’t have to make things happen. We can learn to take our part in letting them happen. It is really okay to ease up a little. We don’t have to think that hard, try that hard, feel that hard, do quite so much. Pull back a little. Relax.

When force and trying harder doesn’t do it, try some­thing else.

Value: “Easy does it” is the value this week.

We can climb the highest mountains and navigate the darkest valleys. We can do anything. Just not all at once.

Prayer: Teach me how to go anywhere—at least wher­ever you want me to go—by taking it one day and one step at a time. Show me how much beauty and joy there are when I live life that way.

Thank God for the ability to break life down into days.

Gratitude Focus: We can start and end each day by being grateful for everything that happened in it and the help we encountered along the way.

Let go of the fear. Feel it, then breathe it out. Let go of the frustration, the overwhelmed feelings, the panic. Quiet yourself. Then pick one task, one simple thing to do.Then focus on only that. Or go to your calendar and circle today. Today is the only day you’ve got, and today is enough.

Action: If you’re working on a project, break it down into components, and work on one small part. Don’t think about the rest. If what’s overwhelming you is a flurry of tasks and problems, make a list, then pick one thing and focus on doing that. Then cross it off your list and do another. If you’re going through a tough stretch in your life, don’t think about all the days that loom ahead. Make whatever appointments and plans you need to make, then focus only on today. If you’re expe­riencing something tough, like a divorce or early sobriety, you may want to break your days into smaller parts, such as hours, mornings, afternoons, and evenings. Don’t think about facing anything more than that chunk of time. Then when you get to the next chunk, focus on that. If the beast of anxiety starts roaring, quiet it by deliberately turning your attention to small steps.

It’s easy to look at all the tasks and unsolved problems and feel so pressured that we get paralyzed and don’t get any­thing done. It takes discipline to gather in our scattered forces and focus on one thing, one day, one step, and some­times one hour—even when taking only that one step can seem so trivial in the face of all that looms.

Would you rather try to do everything at once and get nothing done, or take one small step and do that well? Remember, one plus one equals two.

Inventory Focus: Are you creating unnecessary fear and drama by taking on more than you can handle? Are you willing to trade in the I’m-out-of-control-and-overwhelmed feeling for a sense of manageability? Do you have any history with deliberately living life one day or one step at a time? How did that work.? Plans, goals, and dreams are good, but the only way to get there is one day at a time.

I watched a friend set up beach chairs and an umbrella. He was grunting, groaning, trying with all his might to accomplish a simple task. After he finished, he looked around and clapped the sand off his hands.

“I’m pretty dumb,” he said. “It didn’t have to be that hard or that much work.”

Yes, life really can be easier. Relaxing and letting it unfold can seem too simple and easy at times. What if we really knew that it was okay to gently go about our lives, living and working and handling things at a relaxed pace? What if we knew it was okay to gently take care of ourselves, and that a force would be present to guide us and help us accomplish each task, each problem, in fact, all the parts of our lives?

Life experience truly has taught me that when I relax, I am so much more capable of experiencing great happi­ness as well as simple joys. Things get done, problems get solved, and my needs get met.

Gratitude Focus: We can be grateful for all the situations that teach and remind us that “easy does it” works.

“Arc you always this happy?” I asked my favorite clerk at the grocery store.

“I am today,” he said.

Doing anything forever -even being happy-can seem like too much. The good news is that we don’t have to do anything forever. Just today.

Challenge: The hardest part about taking life one day at a time is remembering that the present moment is all we have.

“One day at a time” isn’t a value I acquired because I wanted to. I had to. Now I apply it because I want to.

Application: Sailing through life? Falling in love? Plenty of money? Or maybe things aren’t going that well. Lonely? Dealing with relationship issues? Not sure how the relationship will work out?Your boss is driving you nuts, but you don’t want to quit? Concerned about your child? Whatever circumstances we find ourselves in, taking each day as it comes is a good idea.

My best friend was going through some tough situations in her life. I was in the midst of a hard stretch too. We didn’t particularly like the things we had to do in our lives. We talked about our feelings and decided that what we were going through was necessary and important, even though we didn’t like it.We expressed gratitude for our lives.

“It’s still a dreadful time,” I said.

“Brutal,” she said. “I guess we’re back to the old one­ day-at-a-time approach. We’re so lucky. What do people do that haven’t learned that gem?”

There are times when we can look at the stretch ahead and like what we see. Taking life one day at a time is still a good idea, even when things are going well.

Taking life one day at a time can be particularly use­ful when the road ahead looks dreadful. We may not even know where to start with some challenges. That’s when taking life one day at a time is essential.

“I’ve been using alcohol and other drugs every day since I’ve been twelve years old,” I said to my counselor years ago in treatment. “Now you’re telling me I need to stay sober the rest of my life. Plus get a job. And a life. How am I going to do that?”

“One day at a time,” she said. She was right. Sometimes I had to take life one minute at a time or one hour at a time. And all these years later, it still works.

Value: Taking life one day at a time is the gem we’ll focus on this week.