I was in an airplane on the way up. I was doing my fidgeting thing, as usual. Brady Michaels, a stunt man and sky diver I had come to know and respect, was sitting across the aisle from me.
“How are you doing, Melody,” he asked in a gentle way, like he really wanted to know.
“I’m scared,” I said.
“Do you believe in God?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“Well then walk to that door, jump, and pull your rip cord when it’s time,” he said. “And don’t forget to have some fun, too.” Owning our power can be one of the most illusive issues we face in recovery. How much is my part? When do I do it? How much is God’s part? Which parts of my life am I responsible for, and which parts are destiny?
You can spend years in therapy talking about feelings, but that isn’t the same as releasing your feelings and fears and moving forward in your life. You can go to college and train to do the thing you want to do in life. You can sleep every night with your wish list underneath your pillow. But that’s different from stepping up to the plate and doing it, whether that means writing a romance novel, starting your own business, learning to bake a cake, or buying an easel and painting a picture. You can read all the travel books in the library—but that’s different from getting on an airplane and taking a trip to someplace you’ve always wanted to see.
We can go to a million Twelve Step meetings, but that’s different from actually working each of the Steps.
As my favorite skydiving instructor, Andy, told me, there’s three things to remember:
Gravity always works. The earth won’t move out of your way. And God won’t pull your rip cord.
We’ve surrendered our lives and will to the care of God. Now, it’s time to learn what it means to align with and own our power.
God, help me own my power to take care of myself. Help me learn to do the job well.
From the book: More Language of Letting Go
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