Thanks, Melody

I play along with my guitar and/or listen to the blues to feel better when I’m down – one of my favorite blues musicians, the late Freddie King. Here’s a song I love called Dust My Broom

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWJQIvtrRIo

Dear Melody , 10-25-2011

Your songs are fine ! Like when groovy went to cool ! I really like the

Righteous Brothers , they seem so SURE & Pure about their emotions & so capable of singing their

emotions ! I have that gift but it has been dormant for about 6 months now …. But I do PLAY the Guitar , just don’t SING as much ! And I write , got like a Poetry magazine or small book printed up
via Fed-ex and I wish you could see it ? ! Wow , your name is all about Music …. So I am keeping the Melody , just not Singing as much !
Melody , one of my best lifetime friends works for Barry Manilow ; kind of like Barrys’ right hand Man ; Marc helps Barry make albums & helps him set up in Concert tours ! I like
Manilow okay , but like Barry of the BeeGees the best ! I noticed you picked 1 of their songs ! Get the CD ONE NIGHT ONLY and you get about 30 songs of theirs !! Too bad one of the twins passed on & Andy Gibb passed years ago ( Marc worked with Andy years ago too ! ) … I was wondering if you play music while you write ? I do , but I do better, writing I think , with music without words , classical or just a Melody of some kind, without words ….
So when did you start blogging and what are you working on now ? Someday I am going to round up all of my books of yours and list em for you & for me …. I have been in my Condo for 17 years so books find different shelves ? I have read 7 or so of your books , the first being , the 1 you are famous for : CoDependent No More and I read Beyond CoDependency, and 5 more ! ………
So Peace – Have relaxing Holidays ……. Some songs I like : Bob Dylan : Don’t think Twice It’s AllRight , CSNY : Teach Your Children Well & CARRY On , Chicago : Beginnings ,
Joan Baez – alot of her songs , some Eagles tunes like TAKE IT EASY …. Let it Be the Beatles,
oooooo……….lots of songs of the 60′s & 70′s …..Vivaldi 4 Seasons , Mozart ain’t bad either !

Best Blessings to You Ma’am ! ,

with Admiration of your Writing Skill , best since Gail Sheehy sp ? sorry
Gail …
of American Women Writers after 1978 to Present ,That is Great Melody
!!!!
Mark S. Jones Poet/Singer Seattle WA 10-25-2011

Hi Heidi. I re-read your post this morning, and am really touched by your excitement — by who you are, and the pure joy and exhileratin of what we call “beginner’s mind.” Again, thanks for taking the time to comment, and please let us know how you’re doing. Life can be … clever … in how it brings us our lessons. Best, Melody beattie

Dear Melody , Well Your Heart- Felt Prayer Helped alot ; Joshua did hate me , but he did do 6 days in the Veterans Hospital from a breakdown after hardly sleeping at all for a month ! We are friends again ! Maybe taking the words of Jesus too literally ? – ” Watch ! Stay Awake ! ” When you are really sick it may be hard to like anyone ? ! But like Saint Francis Said , ” Where there is hate , let me sow Love ! ” Otherwise Melody , Everything is Beautiful in my Life ; how about You ? !

Have a Beautiful Holiday with Love at your table !,

Mark 11-19-2011

Hey Melody, my name is Bryan Heater and I am a journalism student at the University of Memphis. I am writing a feature story on codependency and would love to get your expert opinion on the subject. I understand you are a very busy woman but it would take a very small amount of time out of your day and my professor would be impressed to see an expert opinion like your own. Most experts just turn me down because I am a student but you seem like a down to earth person who likes helping others so I wanted to ask you. My number is 9016052654. If you cannot call me you can send me your thoughts on codependency in the nursing field and other medical professions via email.

Thank you so much,
Bryan Heater

Dear Melody,

a friend gave me your book, The language of letting go…i cannot put it down. Let me say before i start, you are an amazing women and you have helped so many people you should be so proud of yourself! I am so so sorry to hear about what happened with losing some of your hard earned money, and not only that but losing trust, not knowing who to trust. That would be so hard, i am so sorry.
Reading this book at this time in my life i kept thinking, “if only i could just write her a letter and ask for some advice” then i looked you up and saw how much you care about your fans you try to reply to all of them! I added you on Facebook! I will try to keep this short i know you are busy, but i really need some outside advice….
i have been suffering from major depression sense 2nd grade, i got better finally when i was about 16. I got married when i was 18 to my best friend, we have been best friends sense grade school. About two years into our marriage my husband starting drinking and abusing drugs, went through one job to the next. I supported him and stayed with him even though everyone told me to leave him. Him and my cousin who i was closest to would abuse Xanax, Valium, you name it..they both ended up in the hospital. My husband was diagnosed with bi polar and so was my cousin, my cousins wife who was my best friend left him and in Oct. 4th 09 he hung himself in my aunt and uncles garage. It was hard to say the least. My husband has turned his life around, he got a really good job and is really happy, we got a house and i got a job that i loved we even got a dog a little basset hound.
My husband decided we needed to move closer to work, so we sold our house put my dog up for adoption and moved in with my parents until we could find a apartment to live in closer to work. I also got a new job working with my best friend back in August. So here we live with my parents in there basement, my mom is a alcoholic well working on not being one but is such a codependent, she has depression but refuses to get help… my sister recently divorced lives here as well with her two kids, we end up watching her kids most of the time.
About a month ago i was at work i was fine, i really liked this new job and as i was assisting the Dr. i had a panic attack ( i have never had on before) i started shaking so bad my head was shaking, i kept thinking he is going to look at me…he did and i blamed it on coffee…i didn’t understand what was happening, ever sense i haven’t been the same..i went to work the next week had a panic attack again and my husband had to come get me..so i missed a week of work because i was so depressed and scared. The week i was going to come back the night before i got everything ready and told myself i will be okay, i broke out in hives all over. I went to work the next day anyways thinking they wouldn’t believe me, they sent me to the hospital they we that bad, so all week last week i had hives so bad i could barely sleep or eat. I have never had hives before, i have never had anxiety before, my anxiety is horrible i am so depressed and anxious i cant sleep,when i do sleep all i have is nightmares about my job, my cousin, my dog you name it.. everything has changed and i feel like i am going crazy.
I talked to my husband about work and realized why i am so nervous there, this Dr. goes through assistants all the time, he doesn’t have a good reputation and he sexually harasses my best friend and tries to pretend like its a joke, he even said to me when i came back to work ” are you feeling better? You shouldn’t have been making out with me last night and been all over me and you wouldn’t have gotten sick” he makes me nervous, and my husband doesn’t want me going back. The problem is…i feel like i am being to sensitive and like i should be able to control my anxiety, i do like this job, i should be thankful i have a job! And if i stay home and don’t work my husband will make barely enough to support us and i will be depressed that i am at home (my parents house) with not much to do…then who knows if il find another job, or in that case one that i even like! I have an appointment to see a therapist on Thursday, everyone is telling me to quit and take this time to work on myself. I don’t know what to do, i feel like every decision we have make this far has been a mistake, im so anxious and depressed its unreal and i wish i was normal so i could go back to work. So where i am going with this is, what do you think i should do? Should i try and ignore my anxiety and go back to work? Or should i quit and try to find another job? I am really trying to work on my self loving my self or for that matter even liking myself..i am just at a loss..i feel like my friend can ignore it why cant i? I am so sorry for rambling and if i sound like i am complaining, you are just so smart i really look up to you and wish i could someday be like you.

Thank you for being you.

Melody, I don’t know what to say. Saturday night was the peak of insecurity. Scratch the details…I turned into a monster on my wife and “old friend”. The next day, I was perplexed at what happened. All the years of anger and pain and non existent rejection exploded. I am not the kind of guy to do something like this, but that night I was unrecognizable.
I owned it, and start researching jealousy, which led me to co-dependency. But I never really had alcohol or abuse in my relationships, none that I cared about anyway. So I looked on. I researched fidelity/ infidelity books, which led me to co-dependency. So I looked on, because that is not me, right?
Than I saw a book on ‘Relationship Rescue’. Good book (Cloud and Townsend), but it also led me to co-dependency.
Fast forward to Monday. In severe pain about how I basically chased my wife into my ‘old friends’ arms (emotionally, not violently), I left work and went home to sleep. It was the only way to turn my gut wrenching, heart bleeding, overactive mind off. When I woke up, I called my wife to tell her that I would be home late (she knew I was in pain and left work etc). I sat on the hard floor in Barnes and Noble for 4 hours (yeah, I was sore) burying my soul into a book that required me to hide the cover from passing shoppers. I would soon learn that hiding the book was an attempt to control my environment. I would also learn how much of a codependent I am, and have been since my early childhood. And now on Tuesday night I am halfway through it, saying, “Oh my God” several times for each page.
Anyways, here is another newborn recovering co-dependent standing at the edge what seems like death, loosening my grip on this illusion one finger at a time, and trying to remember to breathe on the way to going through hell to get to heaven.
I am reluctant to say thank you just yet, but I am sure you won’t take it personal

(thanks)

Adam

Hi all. As I read the posts above, I don’t see my answers — some of them long — to all the posts. (And I don’t know where they went — I’ll have to look around. They may not have gotten approved as I need to approve my one posts too.) At any rate, if you didn’t get a response to your post, it’s not because it wasn’t written — it was. I’ll look around in the next few days, and see if I can find where they went. Mark, thanks for your sweet and kind words. Ashley, I wrote a long, long response to you. Adam, Katy, Janice and Bryan, I responded to you too. Only I did it from the “back room” — so I’m wondering if that’s where the posts are — maybe they got stuck in a file back there. Would you do me a favor and let me know if you received a response anywhere? Thanks. Also please understand that despite the “Joy of the Seaason” that we’re expected to have, some of us might be feeling blue. Since my son’s death, I try to have Christmas every other day of the year besides the actual holiday — I do the same with Thanksgiving too. It’s the feeling in our hearts, the intention that matters. And you’re right Mark, we don’t have to — and can’t expect ourselves to — feel happy all the time. Everything changes, and moves in cycles. We have our up times and our down times, and usually a down time is the cycle following a truly “up” time. It’s all quite normal. More later — and yes, I’m stil working at getting this financial report done. Best — and know I haven’t forgotten about any of you. Melody Beattie (p.s. — I don’t like the idea of having “fans” — I have reaaders and friends I haven’t actually met yet, except through the printed word.) /mb

Dear Melody , I read 3 of my Poems between a long set of Christmas Carols at the VA Medical Center today ! A man up front kept requesting I read more …. That felt good …
I felt ” in the Spirit ” today and the Sun came out !
Peace on Earth , Mark

Hi,

I have read a number of your books and I have been in and out of the rooms since 2006. I got into AA after my brother was killed in a drunk driving accident. I always knew I was alcoholic. After a couple of years of sobriety and raising two young children, I learned my spouse was having affairs throughout our marriage. We divorced. I met someone else. To make a long story short…I went out. But that isn’t all. I relinquished custody of my young children to their father and he moved them out of state. I now live driving distance from my children and see them monthly. I am in and out of the program. I have a good job and have started to rebuild my life, but I feel tormented by not being near my children. I feel like they are why I was put here but the reality is, I can’t get them back. My mother disowned me for relinquishing custody. I didn’t make that choice because I wanted to go out and party either. I just felt that their father was a safer place for them. He had retired parents helping him in every way imaginable, getting the kids from school, cooking for them, taking them to doctor’s appts (he still has these resources, and his parents facilitate my relationship with my children, allowing me to talk to them after school most days). When I made the choice to give up custody it was because I thought I was unstable, unfit. But not because I don’t love my children. I love them and think of them all day, every day. I sink frequently into depression over my mother’s rejection of me (which really predates my choice to give up custody) and also over her orchestrating my being totally ostracized by her family. I often feel damned. I worry about my soul. I worry that I will be left to die all alone, no children, no family to come home to. I married the man I met after my divorce, but he is also rejected by my mother and her family.

I don’t know why I tell you this. I suppose I wonder if you can relate. I consider you such a wonderful person who has helped so many people. Do you think people like myself deserve the harsh judgment we receive?

Thanks,
Rachel

Dear Melody , Wow ! what a story by you 2 women …. God Bless you and may you get your full healings ASAP ….
Melody, my computer was down for about 2 & 1/2 weeks cuz I moved it from my study to the living room so I could WRITE in the study & have the computer to use, hopefully more than the tv ! My wires got crossed and it took awhile with a DELL tech to get back on line …
I am really pretty happy these days , but I realize it takes WORK to stay that way ! Oh I did find your small book : Gratitudes , and it has been refreshing reading that again .. Adopting an attitude of gratitude does help me to stay positive & grateful and to better cope ! Nice to check in with you after being computerless for awhile ! More later …..

Peace be with you & us all …… Thanks for being You , that is someone Very Special !

your friend , Mark Jones

Hi Melody,
I wanted to post a poem my daughter wrote while she was in high school. She never admitted to this but I believe this poem is about her father, an alcoholic still to this day. I hope you enjoy it.

They Call Sin

Here is a story of a miracle man, he slid off a mountain and held on with one hand He was heading for snow, but it never came.
He believes there is someone who should take the blame. His feet were planted in the board’s shoes. His eyes were thinking he’d never lose. His life was already drowning in bland, His \paper cup heaven\ was in his hand. He cannot get past it without it hurting his find. He cannot fight back without losing his mind.
He has found his heart and it’s taking him up. He has lost his soul inside that paper cup.
He can’t hold on to the rocks and keep grip to his board, \What more can I do?\ he asks the Lord.
God answers in riddles that the man’s mind can’t solve. God tells him the people his pain will involve.
He decides to let go of the board not the rocks. Leaving him hanging and tied with locks.
He fiddles in his pockets knowing nothing is there. He lets go with ease and without any care.
He hits his bottom and realizes it wasn’t that far down. Now he’s lying there and on his face is a frown. He didn’t believe in Him like he believes in you. Now that idiot’s son is crying in his pew.
I don’t know how to tell him and I can’t think of what to say. I’ll just shake his hand slowly walk away.
On with my life and off with the sin. In with the friends and out with the gin. That boy he prays loud and proud tonight.
He hopes God will help, help him to fight.
He lets go of his worries because I said he can. Gave him something to believe in and gave him a plan.
His tears changed my heart and my words changed his pride.
I told you I just shook his hand, but the truth is I lied. One mind can change others even words can change time.
You have to put God first and stay away from the crime they call sin.
Kimberlee Marie Farris 2008

Dear Melody , Yes you are right ….. My Dad passed on in 2007 , 1 month after his 80th birthday . Dad was hurt by the loss of my little fetus almost more than I was … So it is like a sore that never quite heals said a friend of mine ….
We do have a survival drive too …. Emerson buried 2 wives and some children and yet married again & had more children ….Life is hard & I am sensitive , we feel, we pray , we repent , we draw the strength to heal our Hearts & Press on ….
On Life my mom said :” I never promised you a rose garden”from the film : RoseMarys Baby ….” When we are weak, then we are strong ” out of King James bible ……… the weaker we are , the more the Lord will be strong for us …..To forgive ourselves , to forgive others , that is our Great Calling ! Blessings to You Melody , with Care , Mark

Melody… You have been in my thoughts all day, I wish that I was able to be there to support you through this horrific ordeal with your assistant. I want you to know that as far as your fans are concerned, We (I) will never believe anything that anyone has to say regarding your character. You took the risk and bared all in “Journey to the heart” You are my inspiration to write, You helped me to “Let go” of a very Codependent relationship. YOU helped me to feel “NORMAL” I have a story to tell just as you have helped MILLIONS of people I am hoping one day to publish my story, to leave something behind that will help people learn to love themselves. At the moment I am homeless with my 2 kids we have a roof over our heads however I believe that “This too shall pass” It has been a struggle NOT to go back to my codependent behaviors, Night time is the worst for me it would be so easy to pick up the phone and allow myself to be “Rescued” I have come so far I just got a job last month I took a massive pay cut however I am working. I have been clean and sober for 3 years and 3 months! Our stories are so parallel. I am 47 years old and starting over. I have my gratitude journal and I write until I fall asleep at night.

Melody, I want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart for having the strength to write “Your story” After reading codependent no more and all of the other books you have written, I really thought that you were a psychologist or a professional in the social services sector. After reading Journey to the heart I realized that you were not so different than me. I read your story and for me, it made you more “real” I realized that like you, I am also a survivor, I believe that all of the horrible events that happen to us throughout our lives are there to build our character I have been so knocked down that I couldn’t get out of bed overcome by depression. Your books helped me see life through a new lens, I was getting up dusting myself off and getting back in the game. I am alone for the first time in my life It is scary, The responsibility of having to be the sole provider for my kids terrifies me but I am doing it. I am stronger every single day and because of you I have learned to “let go” yes, it can be painful at times however the pain of staying became worse than the pain of letting go. Thank you for helping me through such difficult times I am forever blessed to have been introduced to your books by a wonderful therapist. Hang in there this whole thing with the crooked assistant is all part of your story. In the end justice will be served. I hope you are well, I am sending you a long distance hug from Seattle WA. God bless you Melody ~Diana

Thank you Melody, It’s funny that you mentioned that book because I had checked it out at the library and ended up with some whopping fines because I failed to return it on time lol!
So I just ordered it
Melody, I am hoping that you are continuing to find the strength to endure the upcoming trial. I think sometimes people “forget” that writers,musicians and celebrities in general are all human, we all put our pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else. (Well in my case there are days where I find myself jumping in with both feet) However I want you to know that you have an Army of people behind you, people that you don’t even know, people who were one step away from ending their lives until you saved theirs through your words in those precious books. I have walked in your shoes experiencing the betrayal, the pain and the feelings of “how can I possibly trust anyone again?.” Honestly, for me it’s a life long battle however just like you, instead of asking “Why me” I ask myself okay what am I going to do about this? and with small baby steps I start to walk through my pain. Sometimes it’s as if I am walking on hot coals but it’s what we do and Lord knows you have had your share of pain. You are a survivor and you are such an incredible inspiration to me and all the MILLIONS of people who were once broken but are now “whole” again because you were strong enough to share your story.
I was fired two days ago from my $10 an hour job how humiliating is that? I have a background in social services (Domestic violence advocacy) not retail…. and apparently my Math and computer skills are not quite up to par. The supervisor called me in the back room and told me that “she had to let me go” I was completely blindsided by this. I came home and internalized for the entire evening but after re thinking the whole thing it really was not about me. Yes, I suck at Math always have, always will. I think the fact that I had that old familiar “I’m not good enough” creeping in was enough to keep me in bed for an entire day. I had my “Pity party” but unlike previous times I left the party early. I drug myself out of bed and starting writing I wrote until I could barely straighten my fingers. (I don’t have a laptop) and my kids do a lot of homework online. Writing is my release and I tell you what, it sure helped to get those feelings out. Between journaling and my gratitude list by the end of the day I had a whole new perspective. 4 years ago I would have turned to the bottle, however because of you and your books I chose the healthier option. Life is a gift and sometimes stuff just happens. I have learned that if we have the proper tools there really isn’t anything that we can’t work through.
Thank you again for your incredible insight and for refusing to give up. {{Hugs}} Diana

Melody,
About 15 years ago I use to have a tape with meditations/guided imagery of yours –about being in the garden. I have tried to locate them and bought Finding Your (Way) Home tapes with guided imagery, but that isn’t the one that helped me so much. I want to pass it on to my daughter to help her too. What is it called and where can I find it. I will know it for sure when I hear it because I listened to it so often.
Thank you

Hi Caryl. I answered your question a while back; I just didn’t answer it in the right place and didn’t know where your question was. The posts sometimes get confused with three separate forums. Anyway, I found you again. The tape is called “Lighting the Path.” I think it’s the best audio book I ever did. There is no book that is its mate — it is by itself, and fell between the cracks in the publishing world after Shane’s death and after I changed agents. It’s on my to-do list to re-record it and bring it out on cd. Many people have asked about it, and I would like to see it (the work) go to use. Keep your eyes open; it’s my hope to put it out (or get it out) this year, and possibly put it for sale on this site or on a new site at http://www.melodybeattie.info (that site isn’t up yet.). Best, Melody