Chelsea dated Tom for five years. During the course of those years, Tom told Chelsea that he didn’t want a serious relationship, and she shouldn’t get serious about him. Chelsea didn’t like what she heard. She thought Tom must care about her, because their times together were so good and because he kept coming back to see her.
Whether Tom was being manipulative isn’t the issue. Whether he was keeping a door open for himself isn’t the issue. The issue is, Chelsea wasn’t believing what Tom said—until he left her for someone else.
Yes, sometimes people are coy. Yes, sometimes people are reluctant to get involved. But if people tell you they feel a certain way, don’t read between the lines. Take them at face value. Correct your behavior to match the reality of the situation, not the fantasies in your mind.
Take people at face value. Say what you mean in your dealings with others, so they can take you at face value, too.
God, help me make a practice out of facing, dealing with, and accepting the truth.
From the book: More Language of Letting Go
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