You Decide

January 31, 2017

take control - you decide

This is an old lesson, but it bears repeating and remembering. We don’t have to let anyone control our lives, our choices, our joy.

No matter how well we thought we learned that lesson, it often reappears. Another person starts to pull our strings. We get involved, entangled, hooked in. We hear ourselves singing an old tune—If only she would, if only he wouldn’t, then I would be… We realize that once again we have given up too much control. We have deferred our lives to the wishes, whims, and choices of another.

Yes, if we are living fully, we will have reactions to those around us. Our relationships will help shape us, teach us things. And yes, there are times we are so connected to others, love them so much, that their path does affect ours.

But we don’t have to let another person control our choices, our behaviors, or our lives.

Maybe she will. Maybe he won’t.

But what about you? What do you want? What course of action feels right for you, for your life? Do you want to assign responsibility for whether you take that course to another? Do you really?

Sometimes, no matter how much you love others, it’s time to let go, time to let them walk their path. Time to realize that it is your responsibility to walk your own.

Go in love. Go in peace. Go in gentle power.

You are responsible for your life. You are responsible for your choices. It doesn’t matter what the other person does. You are still responsible for you.

Take care of yourself, then take it one step further. Love, nurture, honor, and respect yourself.

Only you can decide what you’re going to do.

From the desk of Melody Beattie
Originally posted December 4, 2014

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  • Tedo Ronk

    Yes this is were doing the work in early recovery pays off .being on guard and able to take care of ourselves .Knowing what and who to be careful of . Watching for particular behaviors before its to late . Remember its easy to let someone into your life it may be a lot harder to get them out of it ! PS did I get an A melody ? Told you I did the work .