A Sad Week in Coventry
It was a solemn week in Coventry, England, in 1969.Two local boys—Billy and Kenneth—died three days apart.
Rev. Simon Stephens was young, only twenty-three. He was assistant to the chaplain at the hospital where the boys had died. While talking to Billy’s parents, Father Stephens mentioned that another boy, Kenneth, had recently died. He mentioned Billy’s death to Kenneth’s parents, too.It was a small gesture, a small choice.The Lawleys, Kenneth’s parents, sent flowers to Billy’s funeral. Then Billy’s folks and Kenneth’s folks decided to get together to have tea and share memories about their sons.It pleased Father Stephens that the parents were meeting. They were able to help each other, and in the process help themselves as well.The parents continued to get together for informal talks and tea. Grieving a child can take a long time. As time passed, Father Stephens suggested that they open their little get-togethers to other people. Billy’s folks and Kenneth’s folks agreed.It wasn’t long before another couple joined their meetings.By the year 2001, six hundred meetings were going on in the United States to help parents of the 225,000 children and young adults who die in this country each year. Hundreds more were taking place in twelve countries around the world. They were nondenominational and free. The Society ofCompassionate Friends had officially begun.Sometimes what helps the most is talking to people going through the same thing.A series of small choices three people made one week in Coventry, England, changed the world.We try so hard for that big brass ring—that peak moment of success, that great impact on the world. And when we try to make it happen, we usually get frustrated because we can’t.Most of the things we do that rock the world in a positive way start out with quiet choices that we have a good feeling about—sending that card, making that phone call—the small, pure things we do from our hearts, the things we do from love.One of the best feelings in the world is feeling like our efforts are guided and blessed by God—when we make a choice that works. That usually doesn’t happen when we’re reaching for the brass ring. It happens when we’re holding our hand out to help somebody else.“When seasoned grievers reach out to the newly bereaved, energy that has been directed inward begins to flow outward and both are helped to heal,” reports The Compassionate Friends.
This principle doesn’t apply just to people going through grief.Service is the key to success.
From the book: Choices: Taking Control of Your Life and Making It Matter
