Letting Someone Help - Day 1

I was walking up a steep mountain in China. I was tired. Steps loomed endlessly ahead of me. Just when I thought I couldn’t go one step farther, a group of women climbers came along. They noticed my weariness. One stood in front of me, another behind me, and one woman grabbed my left hand. When I couldn’t take one more step, their support and energy carried me along. We walked together for a while, until I felt strong again.Later, I found it remarkable that I allowed myself to receive other people’s help.Knowing we can take care of ourselves is good. But we can take that too far. It’s easy for most of us to give to other people. It puts us in control. We’re more vulnerable when we let someone take our hand and lead the way.Help and support are all around us, no matter what our needs are. The help may come in the kindness of strangers. It may take the form of a group, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, or The Compassionate Friends (a group for people who are grieving the death of a loved one). It may be a friend who reaches out to help us, or a relative, or someone at work.The assistance offered may be practical: advice, money, teaching us a skill, making us a meal when we’re sick. The help offered may be emotional support, someone to listen and care. Sometimes just having someone present is what we need.I like knowing other people are there for me. But I have had a fiercely independent, stubborn streak since I was a child. Some of it began when I was ill, couldn’t attend school for a year, and had to stay home all alone and teach myself my studies because my mom worked a lot. I can still be like a two-year-old trying to tie my own shoes. “Just leave me alone, I can do this myself”— whether I can or not.It’s still hard for me to let other people help. I’m afraid I’ll be indebted, that there will be some kind of trick or hitch, that I’ll lose my pride or lose control.It’s good to have boundaries about whom we let help us and what kind of help we receive. But c’mon. Some of us have carried this illusion too far; we struggle on, thinking we are all alone and have to do everything ourselves.Value: Asking for and allowing ourselves to receive help is the value this week.From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact