Vulnerable Honesty - Day 5

The first time I practiced vulnerable honesty was many years ago. I was talking to a clergyperson.

I was going over a list of shortcomings and things I’d done wrong. When I finished, he just looked at me. “What else?” he asked.“Nothing,” I said.“What else?” he repeated.I felt like the world was going to rip apart. “I want to stay sober, but I don’t know how and I don’t think I can,” I said. Vulnerable honesty opened up my world at that moment.

Action: Being vulnerable and honest takes a little more time and effort than being a talking head. What we’re really talking about with vulnerable honesty is opening our heart. It’s easy to say, “I’m irritable.” It’s a little tougher to say, “My hands are trembling, and I’m scared.” Just peel off one more layer. There, that’s it. See how beautiful that heart is?One way to put vulnerable honesty into practice is to stop thinking about what you should say and really listen and respond to the other person. Another way is to say how you really feel.If it’s difficult to be vulnerably honest, try this approach. After you finish talking to someone, take a moment. Did you skip saying something important that might have made you feel vulnerable and the other person feel good? Or maybe the reverse applies. Are you not expressing your emotional truth because you don’t want to hurt someone, or be that vulnerable, or because you suspect your feelings are wrong?You don’t have to fawn and gush, but instead of keeping those delicate feelings to yourself, you can share them with others and let them know how much they mean to you.

That one sweet vulnerable thing you say might be the thing that lights up their day.

From the book: 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact